When Life Gives You Lemons, Get “Legal-Ade”

Certain businesses have been operating throughout the country without permits or health department approval for decades. These supposedly sinister violators? Childrens’ lemonade stands.

Local authorities have been shutting down stands across the country as more and more spring up in time for summer. Be wary, these pint-sized CEOs have it out for you. Don’t be fooled by their cute smiles and worthy causes, unpermitted lemonade stands are just that: unpermitted. No one escapes the long arm of the law, especially not entrepreneurial elementary schoolers.

As a mindful consumer and hard-working citizen, we want you to know that your hard-earned dollars are funding code violations and safety hazards in your own backyard—literally.

Lemonade conglomerate Country Time has set up a legal fund to help wannabe beverage tycoons called “Legal-Ade.” Apparently, the guilty parties had issues with reading their fines, and a number of the scofflaws claimed they had not yet been taught how to do so. Violators can access the “Legal-Ade” website and submit information about themselves and their stand to receive reimbursement for any fines incurred while operating their business.

If it’s not abundantly apparent to you, this piece is satirical.

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